I’ve been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I’m out of my mind
It feel like my life aint mine
An afternoon, a kileton matatu, back row, middle seat. It was hella sunny outside and crazy hot inside. I didn’t have my earphones that day and so, I started contemplating my life. ‘Aki these matatus yawaaah…kwani?…’
That’s when I noticed her. I mean, I noticed her hand gripping her loose-fitting ripped jean. The other hand clenched tightly to the point where there was a slight shake to it. She seemed in her twenties. ’eh…okay…mind your own business Waceke…’
But I still tilted my head upwards. Long black braids. She was looking outside at first, then she turned and our worlds met.
…eye to ocean.
There I had been, seriously grumbling about matatus and life but she…
She had been quietly crying all the while. I mean, I was more than shocked. Too surprised to even speak to her, to ask … but again, should I have asked? Was it in my place to? I still feel like I should have…
And so we sat there in the kileton in silence…all the way to town, her hand still so clenched. She alighted before me…
Pain don’t hurt the same
The lane I travel feels alone
But I’m moving till my legs give out
I don’t want to cry anymore
Hello Legit Society,
‘I’ve just been really low for a while now and…’
How many of us can find such words when going through the most and give somebody. Tell a friend. Tell a parent. Tell an aunt or uncle to help you figure out what’s happening. Even after all this awareness that a mental concern can get real and be an illness, we still want to figure it out by ourselves. It’s never that serious until the ocean floods. Until you are banging your head against a wall or throwing everything on the floor. It’s never that serious until they start asking why you’ve not been eating right, until the anxiety has you failing. Until they start asking what caused those marks on your wrists. It’s never that serious right.
If mental illness occurs only in countries abroad, why are there people committing suicide in our own neighborhoods? It seems easier to stay private and simpler to be ignorant or to ‘mind our own businesses’ about this… classifying someone as ‘messed up’ until the damage is done. But isn’t it like sitting down and waiting on a regret?
I’ve been praying for someone to save me
No one’s heroic
I’m hurting deep down but can’t show it
A million circumstances could have been the cause of the woman’s solemn state. She may never know she left me thinking about all these and more but I hope she is better.
How many friends and relatives, people we don’t know less advantaged are not able to reach such information though? It’s said… “Minorities suffer more from mental illness such as depression due to economic and cultural disadvantages however, cultural stigma regarding counseling and medication prevents many ethnic minority individuals from seeking mental health treatment. “
What’s on your mind?
They say every life is precious but nobody care about mine.
I can’t fit the shoes of someone going through something at the moment. All our lives and experiences are different and so are our privations. But society, let’s not take for granted the opportunity we’ve been given to know all we have known. It can be that serious so don’t let it. Calm yourself and figure out how to get better.
Find somebody to show you better.
Some signs and symptoms of mental illness include prolonged depression, excessive worries, social withdrawal, poor sleeping and eating habits, delusions, hallucinations, numerous unexplained physical ailments, feelings of extreme highs and lows, suicidal thoughts… and for all these age is just but a number #staywoke.
MENTAL ILLNESS CAN BE TREATED…
Heal where you need to. Take your time society but make sure you get Better.
model: the beautiful Juliet Mang’ira.