19 thoughts, poetry, unapologetic


I am

Genuinely Honestly Tired

Tired of apologizing

I am exhausted

All of me

And I can’t be sad and sorry

I can’t be sorry for being anymore

Take A Kindness for weakness

Then take An apologetic heart as weakness

Why have you assumed it’s a cheap cheap heart?

You can’t buy an apologetic heart

I am 2k17

I am drained for being

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what i feel like. i feel like if you point out your mistakes, they become your flaws. i promise you i was given no manual for life and life choices in the beginning _and if you didn’t share the manual: how to live right in 2k17. why do you bend my heart apologetic 2k17.


All these emotions will fight you,

All these emotions will slave you,

But all these emotions will never lie to you,

All these emotions will guide you.

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am sorry that my skin is brown and my blood a shed of red.

am sorry that when i speak i only talk about my daily bread.

am sorry that i milk words from my heart and feed you.

i need you

to understand. understand  am growing and these lessons are allowing. me. to express myself.

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what i feel like. i feel like you look an extremist on these good days. do you think they are numbered? maybe one more millionth reason to lose it in the moment. damn it 2k17. alright. i need to keep you asleep the rest of your nights. quiet your silence, i need to hear myself decide.

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I am apologizing and apologizing for what I do not like,

What I do not want,

What I cannot do and,

Who I have not become.

I am apologizing because I do not like what you like,

I do not want exactly what you want,

I cannot do what you can do and,

I have not become who you want me to be.

I am forgetting what I love,

I am forgetting what it is that I want,

I am forgetting what I have the ability to do and,

I am forgetting who I want to be.

“I’m afraid you’re under the impression that I was made to please you.

I was under the impression you understood me better.”

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19 thoughts, poetry

Today I let my tears flow, I let them go

I let the hurt through, just because I want to


Some ones I trusted

Are the ones that haven’t lasted

This is how the story goes

You love you want love

All of you

And you and you

And I and I and I

Think I gave more than enough to

Even when I never felt enough from

Too many

Am not sad over nothings

Am angry because of some things

And you

And you

And you

I wish there were other beings

I had grown to focus on

But why do I blame me

You are that type of species

And you’ve proved you can’t be

Better than this


But today

I feel rage more than I have

More than I hear

The ringing in my ear

So much time spent on vanity things

I see how you throw away all we did

You say you don’t understand me


But twice thrice

More than four times

I have taken time to study your chimes

When your melodies didn’t make sense

I  listened to your rhymes …

The things we do for family

Because blood runs deeper than other things

But is that it?

That must be it.

That is it!


I won’t come back to you

I won’t walk back for you

My heart has ran dry of care for you

Am bitter too

So much time I’ve wasted to think as much as I do

All because of you

I burn with fucking beautiful colors

Flames like feathers

Angered by your nature

I choke on cheap glitter and smoke

You’ve been lighting the floor

Walking back and forth

Waiting for me to thaw

But oh darling, no

I don’t fall

I just walk out the door

And draw a line

I align

I refine

Don’t ask me the night you come across my light

Just look up at the stars’


That’s how far I move aside


Photographer: Kevin Macharia.

Art on: Brian Mureithi.