Not our Anniversary.

I started my blog because I believed people should not be ashamed of how they feel. The world allows you to express it, you don’t have to say it.

It doesn’t have to be only in poetry or art

 it can even be in music or dance. The message on the shirt you wear the make up you put on. It doesn’t have to be in a blog post, you don’t have to be as extra as I am, but again why not,

it can even be on a random page in a math book or in your phone. It can even be a three minute call it doesn’t have to be an hour it doesn’t have to be two it doesn’t have to be over coffee but it can be. You don’t have to tell anyone but you must know yourself you must be honest with yourself if you decide to tell anyone.

There is no shame in feeling and I think that’s what so many of us are embarrassed of and try to hide. Suppress. But here is a special thought,

tell me how you feel today how you’ve felt for the past one month,how the past one or two years have been 

It’s no big to feel like you are not at the right place in time . It’s not fine to feel like you are not fine but its not wrong. 

and it’s okay to constantly want to work on yourself.

Hey think about this,

How will you ever improve yourself if you never feel like you need to be in a better place

For the person feeling like I was

And here I feel so low goodness so down I don’t see a light at the end of this tunnel I don’t see any way up I feel like the Ls have been too many and I can’t undo or erase. I can’t restart my life I cant explain. It’s constant failure, disappointment, its constant setbacks and I want to do better but my past is controlling the weather. I want to feel the sun on my face but its gloomy gloomy gloomy in my room and everyday it’s hailstones and thunder and my lack of happiness is starting rain drops when I live this space…

Ive tried drinking water and getting my life together but it’s too many times I’ve failed how do I know this time I won’t just fail again? What’s the point who cares why do I need to take up space?

I’ve not done psychology but I believe these questions is just your mind looking for something to hold on to and you and only you can give it to it 

At least not most of us have the courage of seeing a psychologist leave alone the privilege. What about the courage of simply saying it out loud? Letting our families know as if global warming and cancer is not already enough problems in the world for you to come up complaining about how you feel?

so

Here’s the thing

Only you can decide to not give up on you and sometimes I think that’s the harsh truth we are not being told considering the situations we are living.

and yes maybe we can’t change the situations we are living in but we can change how we deal with the situations we are in.

And this is where you are at. Mentally only you decide.

Because what if today or this week is not the last time you are feeling like crap. What if the next year is going to be shit and the year after that maybe even worse global warming and corruption aside

How do you know you can withstand if the world doesn’t give you anything to stand against? 

How do you know you have courage in you if you have no fear to face? 

You’ve made it this far past my post you can make it through today and the life after that. 

But my point simply is, it’s not supposed to be easy and it’s not all the time that you are going to make a to do list you are going to tick all the boxes. It’s not everyday you are going to feel like a Pinterest quote and it doesn’t mean you are lacking in self love if you don’t. It’s not everyday you are going to be disappointed in yourself and it’s not everyday you are going to have a bad day.

But on the days that you do in the situations you have to accept and the ones you need to improve, do your part,

don’t sleep around on the thought, you know it will feel worse tomorrow. At the least you now know you are not the only one who has crappy moments. Love and range is portioned out to all of us. Yes you reading this quietly, privately …

Its like this, kwa ground

this is how it is . So what do I do what can I really do ?

Open your mind and allow that hope to dive on the possibility of a better version of yourself

And  I’m sure it will cause thats how much you love yourself and thats how much your mind, the same one, is willing to improve itself if you allow it.

So yeah, long post ‘lmao’ but I’ve always felt more purposeful by being my genuine and authentic self and something told me to post this right here as my last post. For some reason I’m sure it will resonate with at least even if it’s one person. 

And to all the beautiful amazing people who’ve been reading my posts ever since my unapologetically emotional self started writing and have appreciated the photography that came along with it to try and explain my 21 thoughts thank you! 

I always feel like it’s a last post until I post again haha but for now, onto adulting 

love, Waceke.

( leave your thoughts and comments down below and let me know how you really feel ~insert nonso amadi’s voice ~ If you like do share  🙂 

Photographer @lennylenya_